Infidelity is on the rise. We hear about it more and more each day, especially from celebrities. Many people, when you think about cheating spouses, automatically think that it is a husband cheating on a wife. This, however, is not always the case.
Men are not the only philanderers. Women are also committing adultery. In fact, some studies suggest that almost 50% of married women have had sex outside of their marriage. Cookie Magazine did a study back in May that found 34% of moms admitted to having an affair after they had children, and another 53% say they have thought seriously about having an affair.
This says that it's not just men having affairs. We hear all of the time about why men affairs, but women having affairs never seems to be a focus. So, why do women have affairs?
Women Cheat For Emotional Reasons
Whether it's a lack of communication in their marriage, a need for an emotional connection they are not receiving, or just the desire to feel wanted and beautiful, women are cheating to fill emotional voids their husbands have left them with.
Women also crave the need for security. Men are the blanket that provides this security, and if you as a husband aren't satisfying this need, she will seek it elsewhere. As women age, they tend to feel less and less secure. They begin to question the way they look, feel less attractive, and unable to do things they did when they were younger. Even if these things aren't true, women tend to convince themselves that they are.
If you are not reassuring your wife that she is beautiful and important to you, you are putting your relationship at risk.
Other Reasons Women Cheat
*Sense of Loneliness
*Insecurity
*Disappointment with their spouse
*Depression
*Lack of Romance
Profile of a Female Cheater
Now that we've covered some reasons why women cheat, lets profile the typical female philanderer.
*Women tend to choose partners who are also married. This offers some safety for them, as they have less of a concern to worry about STD's. They also don't have to worry about the "secret" getting out, as the married man also would have no benefit of leaking the truth. Last, it puts a limit on the amount of time they can spend with their lover if he is also married.
*Women who cheat on their spouse are more likely to be a full-time worker. Men in the workplace can tend to make the women feel important, if she is doing a good job, notice the woman, and take an interest in her.
*Women don't jump into affairs. They tend to know the person they are cheating with for a couple of months or more before they actually cheat on their spouse. This proves the stat from Cookie Magazine that 53% of married women with children say they've contemplated an affair.
*They don't always want a "bad boy". In fact, They are looking for the "ideal husband", someone who can provide the security, communication, financial, and emotional needs they currently lack.
Myths About Adultery
As you learn more and more about affairs, you will begin to understand their true meaning and place for existence. You will also be able to dispel some common myths.
1. An affair can help your troubled marriage. No, it cannot help. It will only worsen the problems you are already having. What it can do is open your spouse's eyes to the trouble and ignite a plan to address those problems.
2. Bad Sex Causes People to Have an Affair. No, this is not true either. Sex is just that, sex. It is all the same, really, until you add emotion to it. Sex can become worse if one person feels it is a problem, an insecurity, and begins to turn sex into what it never should be, a performance. Great sex comes from sharing yourself, mentally and emotionally, with your partner, which creates a deep trust between the two of you.
3. Affairs Can Last Forever. False. Affairs die for the same reasons marriages do, the lack of intimacy. If you are having an affair and think it is a wonderful relationship, it is because you are hiding the imperfections from one another. You never truly get to know the real person you are with. If you care enough about getting to know someone, get to know your spouse. Affairs lack the emotion necessary to sustain long term.
What To Do If You Are Tempted To Cheat
I hope you are not tempted to cheat, but if you are, think about it first. Typically when you have this feeling, there are problems going on in your relationship. Try addressing those problems and see if you and your spouse can work through them.
Learn to communicate better with your spouse. Create a transparency, where you know everything about your spouse, and they know everything about you. Spend time together every day, and learn something new about them. Find new activities that you both can enjoy together. Never stop dating your spouse!
Women really crave the emotional things, so men really need to work at giving them those things. If you are a women, you need to share with your husband what you are craving and lacking. If you are a man, work on satisfying those needs. If you do, you can live a happy marriage together!
Rabu, 27 September 2017
Rabu, 06 September 2017
Married Women's Affairs - 5 Types Of Affairs & What The Husband Can Do About It
For the married woman and married man, the vows made on their wedding day included the promise to be faithful to each other. And, there is no doubt that the vast majority of people who get married do so with the express intention of keeping that promise.
Unfortunately, it is clear that in reality, not everyone does keep their wedding vow promises. Many people will admit in private to having had one or more affairs while married. And, many others never get caught but are being unfaithful to their spouses just the same.
For a husband who suspects his wife is having an affair - or who even has evidence that an affair has been going on lately - the whole experience is quite painful and humiliating. After all, a married man expects his wife to "have his back." Meaning: she is to look out for him and protect him, just as he is supposed to do for her. They have a bond of trust that both are supposed to respect.
Obviously, an affair is a direct and explicit betrayal of that bond of trust. And, nothing hurts quite as much as being cheated on by the person we are supposed to be able to trust the most.
There are many types of married women's affairs, each with its own unique characteristics. Here are 5 types of affairs and what the husband can do about it:
1. Heavy flirting:
Almost every married person innocently flirts just a bit now and then. Very mild flirting may even actually be healthy for a relationship. However, when it crosses into heavy flirting, it has gone too far. Heavy flirting is when someone goes out of their way to spend time with someone just to flirt, and they do it frequently and for long periods of time. This is technically not an affair, but it puts the person on that path.
2. Going out socially after work or on business trips:
The next stage of an affair is when your wife starts going out with co-workers (or fellow members of an organization to which she belongs) socially on a regular basis, either after work or while on business trips.
3. Emotional affair:
Next, we have what is becoming commonly termed an "emotional affair." This is whereby two people actually fall in love - or at least very deep like - with each other and spend a lot of time together. The feelings are 100% romantic, but the relationship lacks a physical component.
4. One-night stand:
At this point, an affair has become even more serious because it turns physical or sexual. While many people only consider this and #5 below to be a "true" affair (as compared to #1-#3 above), each of the other types of milder affairs listed above can easily lead up to this.
5. Long-term affair:
Any sexual affair that goes on for months or years would be considered a long-term affair. While each type of affair listed here can seriously damage a marital relationship, a long-term affair is likely to do the most damage.
What To Do As The Husband
As the husband of a woman who seems to be engaged currently in at least one of these types of affairs, you need to immediately take control of the situation. While you cannot control your wife or her actions, you can control how you respond to the situation.
You need to start by honoring your own feelings - which no doubt are varied and complicated - about this issue. Then, you should put together a plan to either end your marriage or to find a way to rebuild the relationship with your wife to back to one of trust and love again.
Remember, no matter what, the worst thing you can do is nothing. So, take control.
Unfortunately, it is clear that in reality, not everyone does keep their wedding vow promises. Many people will admit in private to having had one or more affairs while married. And, many others never get caught but are being unfaithful to their spouses just the same.
For a husband who suspects his wife is having an affair - or who even has evidence that an affair has been going on lately - the whole experience is quite painful and humiliating. After all, a married man expects his wife to "have his back." Meaning: she is to look out for him and protect him, just as he is supposed to do for her. They have a bond of trust that both are supposed to respect.
Obviously, an affair is a direct and explicit betrayal of that bond of trust. And, nothing hurts quite as much as being cheated on by the person we are supposed to be able to trust the most.
There are many types of married women's affairs, each with its own unique characteristics. Here are 5 types of affairs and what the husband can do about it:
1. Heavy flirting:
Almost every married person innocently flirts just a bit now and then. Very mild flirting may even actually be healthy for a relationship. However, when it crosses into heavy flirting, it has gone too far. Heavy flirting is when someone goes out of their way to spend time with someone just to flirt, and they do it frequently and for long periods of time. This is technically not an affair, but it puts the person on that path.
2. Going out socially after work or on business trips:
The next stage of an affair is when your wife starts going out with co-workers (or fellow members of an organization to which she belongs) socially on a regular basis, either after work or while on business trips.
3. Emotional affair:
Next, we have what is becoming commonly termed an "emotional affair." This is whereby two people actually fall in love - or at least very deep like - with each other and spend a lot of time together. The feelings are 100% romantic, but the relationship lacks a physical component.
4. One-night stand:
At this point, an affair has become even more serious because it turns physical or sexual. While many people only consider this and #5 below to be a "true" affair (as compared to #1-#3 above), each of the other types of milder affairs listed above can easily lead up to this.
5. Long-term affair:
Any sexual affair that goes on for months or years would be considered a long-term affair. While each type of affair listed here can seriously damage a marital relationship, a long-term affair is likely to do the most damage.
What To Do As The Husband
As the husband of a woman who seems to be engaged currently in at least one of these types of affairs, you need to immediately take control of the situation. While you cannot control your wife or her actions, you can control how you respond to the situation.
You need to start by honoring your own feelings - which no doubt are varied and complicated - about this issue. Then, you should put together a plan to either end your marriage or to find a way to rebuild the relationship with your wife to back to one of trust and love again.
Remember, no matter what, the worst thing you can do is nothing. So, take control.
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